i try to sleep

People say it's bad to go to sleep mad. Well people has obviously not met me. People should say that it's hard to go to sleep mad.

I've been in my bed for the past 2 hours. Just trying to go to sleep. It's only 10:50. But I so desperately want to go to sleep.

People also say that dreams are where one can do what they wish they could do in real life. It's where one can have what they wish they could have in real life. I used to think that I don't dream because I already got it all. And that's not conceited or boastful. I really did have it all for most of my life. But now, I don't know why I don't dream.

I realized a while ago that I didn't want to blog anymore. I've been blaming it on the fact that I have nothing to say, but that's not fully true I guess. I don't want to try to be witty or insightful or cool. I'm not going to tell you about my day because I don't want to write it all out and because why would you care? But I'm also tired of my blog being an angsty place. It doesn't depict me. And so I thought that I should stop. But clearly, I'm not going to. I want it. I just don't know with what to fill it with.

I stunned my thumb against my car so my typing on my phone has slowed down.

My parents have given up on me. And my dad doesn't have an opinion on what I do. Well, afterall I am just a stupid girl.

I think that the reason I liked Gilmore Girls so much besides the teenage life based attraction was because I loved the kind of relationship Lorieli and Rory had. It was like me and my mom. Hah. Well, look how far I've come.

I don't want this. I never have. But this is what it has become.

This is my last summer.

www.abbasummer2010.tumblr.com

family portrait.

i want people to believe my family's perfect. too bad there's no such thing as perfect. but regardless of days like this, we're pretty damn close.

restart.

new.

hurt.

she's right.

miss less. much less.

wish i could tell you.

not going to do it.

don't want to do it.

cut it short.

cut it shorter.

ignorant bitches.

i'm ready.

even though, i wish i weren't.

there's no such thing as a clean slate.