Sleep is an escape.

love.

He lived in a three-plex. She lived next to him and he lived in the last one. He sneaked out to see her even though he didn't really know her but he liked her. He was waiting for her to come out. He was just sitting and reading the newspaper. Since it was noon, he started to pray but at that moment she came out. She had just showered and her smell was irresistible. But he was praying and so she walked out onto the grass. He noticed her and smiled. He looked up from the newspaper and in a low and knowing voice said, "you're looking good." He was infuriated but continued praying. When he finished, she had walked off and he had gone back to reading his newspaper. He finished praying and the next second he was on top of him punching every part of him that he could reach. After a while, he grew embarrassed and stopped.

He woke up, hot. He turned over in bed and there she was. She was his. He went back to sleep.

It goes on.

Cold. Awake. Michael Buble. Thirsty. Tired. Secrets. Kings of Queens. Emotionless. Pirates. Darkness. Purging. Green. Closet. Hurts. Brian Peppers. Blanket. Texting. PostSecrets. Orlando Bloom. Scissors. PANTS. Water. Dreams. Expression. Lying. Domestic Abuse. Tissues. UC App. Dry. Train. Tapes. People. Granted. Shaking. New Moon. Bathroom. Scared. Expectations. Windows. Seven. Pressure. Best Friends. Trust. Socks. Cancer. Fingers. Spongebob. Parasites. Gravity. Boys. The Middle East. Goosebumps. Hair. Lotion. Life. Red. Charging. Slow. Walls. Fridge. Control. Thoughts. Sleep.




idon'twanttobutidon'tknowhowtofixit.

One Week-Barenaked Ladies

It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to one side and said I'm angry
Five days since you laughed at me saying
Get that together, come back and see me
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry


Hold it now and watch the Hoodwink
As I make you stop, think.
You'll think you're lookin' at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish,
Although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi'cause its ever touched a frying pan
Hot like Wasabe when I bust rhymes
Big like LeAnn Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfort's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me
But I bust through.
Gonna make a break and take a fake,
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake
I like vanilla, its the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
Cause its so dangerous,
you'll have to sign a waiver


How can I help if I think you're funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
I have the tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt


It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air and said you're crazy
Five days since you tackled me,
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized its not my fault, not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me,
And now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry


Chickity China the Chinese chicken
Have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin X-Files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm gettin frantic
Like Sting, I'm tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy
Like Kurasswa, I make mad films
Okay I don't make films,
But if I did, they'd have a Samurai
Gonna get a set a' better clubs
Gonna find the kind with the tiny nubs,
Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing


How can I help if I think you're funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have the tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt


Its been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to the sides and said I'm sorry
Five days since I laughed at you and said
You just did just what I thought you were gonna do
Three days since the living room,
We realized we were both to blame, but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause we still got two days till we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry,
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry,
Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie.

my everything.

"What's a motto that I live by?"
"Friends are everything"
"That's not true"
"Yes. It is for you."


I'm sorry that I like spending time with them and talking to them but if for one moment you think that you don't matter to me as much as they do, you are beyond wrong. I pine for your approval, your attention, your laughter. I want it so badly. And I get it. But when you say this, it all goes away. I go back to the bottom and have to work my way up again. I hate these moments. The look in your eyes. Disappointment. It hurts more than you think it does. I care. I really really do. I'm not good at showing that. Something to do with me being vulnerable. Stupid. I know. I also know that you aren't always thinking like this. You know that I care immensely about you. But even those moments that you do think inversely, I just want to yell. I want to scream, kick, cry, fight, and throw a fit. So that you'll have to look at me and tell me you weren't serious. Console me. Love me. We're okay now again. But I have to regain your respect. Please don't stop believing me.

I love you. Forever have and forever will.

There. I said it. I'm scared you'll forget about me.

I need to make myself a John Mayer CD.

and then figure out how to convert it onto a tape cassette.

Happy Birthday

So, I just found out that she would have been 50 today. It's not affecting me though.

"

Missing and remembering my Aunty. Can't believe she would have been 50 today. May Allah bless her with Jannat.

"

I read it probably 5 times. Then went to my notifications. Then went back to it. Read it 4 more times. Stared at the screen for a while. Nothing.

Am I that heartless?

We're running out of time.

It's already November.