how to deal.

she's standing there. doing the dishes or drinking water. then she'll casually glance out the window, expecting to see him. after the milisecond of forgetfulness, she'll realize that she won't ever see him outside the window again. so she stops washing the dishes. she stops drinking water. and she sighs. she sighs and she thinks. thinks of all that she should've done, could've done. then she gets angry. infuriated. she hates the creature that did this to him. she hates them all. making something so innocent suffer like that. she wants revenge but doesn't know how to go about it. so she silently prays. prays for retribution. then she realizes how silly she's being. she realizes that someone won't ever see her husband again. someone won't ever see her father again. how alone must they feel if she is feeling like this. and so she is sad again. and when she's sad, she glances out the window.

i like her

"Once let down, I never fully recovered. I could never forget, and the break never mended. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again.

But the problem wasn’t with the vase. Or even that the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables. Through my attachments, I was dependent on my relationships to fulfill my needs. I allowed those relationships to define my happiness or my sadness, my fulfillment or my emptiness, my security, and even my self-worth. And so, like the vase placed where it will inevitably fall, through those dependencies I set myself up for disappointment. I set myself up to be broken. And that’s exactly what I found: one disappointment, one break after another.

But the people who broke me were not to blame any more than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase. We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us."

-Yasmin Mogahed